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 Author   Thread: Quotes! 
    5-28-2007  9:19 PM  
 MaidM
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 Mar. 7, 2007
 
This has probably been done at some point, but one of the my favourite bits about BWOC was the hillarious quotes. And I thought I'd like to hear a few of everyone's favourites.

So, let the random quoting begin!

"Now Merton, don't think I'm razzing you or giving you the business, but what made you come around?"
"The badminton team rejected me. All because I couldn't say the word 'shuttlecock' without giggling."
~ The Wolf is Out There

(That one is so true! Try it!)

"And that day is tomorrow!"
"Wow, that's really ironic."
"Actually Tommy, it's a coincidence. It would have been ironic if it were yesterday."
~ The Bookmobile

And my personal favourite:

"Lori, listen, it's not that easy! Take the Incredible Hulk. He can't just become the Hulk. He has to get worked up. Angry, or excited, or you know, whatever. Ah. Merton knows how to do it."
"Okay, so how does Merton excite you?"
"Whoa! No! For the record, Merton has never excited me! No seriously, I cannot stress that enough here."

*hee*

Let's hear the rest!
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    5-29-2007  1:46 AM  
 Austin
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Tommy: No, What happened in the Movie?
Merton: Well I went alone, but there was this really cute girl in front of me and I was just about to offer her some popcorn...
Tommy: No, what happened in the movie, you know, the picture movie!

I believe that was from Stalk Like an Egyptian.
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    5-29-2007  2:38 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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lol I always laugh at Tommy's, "Why would anyone want a dog as big as Marmaduke?" line.

"Save it, Haim! I know your secret!"
"Okay, so you're trying to kill me because I'm Canadian?"

"You know what the Babylonians invented, don't you?"
"Oh, I know this! The airplane! Wait, no, that was Orville and Wilbur Redenbacher."

"'Property of Merton J. Dingle'? Tommy, do you know what this means?"
"Yeah! That monster stole Merton's underwear!"

"It's over! Capice?"
"Eh, I'd give it about a six."
"Aw, why?"
"I don't know, the tough talk doesn't really work. You know, because it's you. Plus the beard still weirds me out."

"We had a big fight that night and I told him I never wanted to see him again."
"Why should that make you feel guilty?"
"Because I never saw him again...He tried to jump the gorge."
"The gorge? No one's tried to jump the gorge since that nutjob went and crashed his motorcycle into...Never mind."
    5-29-2007  3:47 AM  
 Jay098
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 May 19, 2007
 
Merton: "I was just attacked by a reanimated walker of the night!"
Tommy: "A sleep walker? Wait, you didn't wake him, did you? I've heard that could be dangerous."
- Rob Zombie
(That scene is great)

Tommy: "Well, did we do it? Did we beat Boris?"
Merton: "I don't know, Tommy. Do these trees look communist to you?"
-Commie Dawkins
    5-29-2007  3:57 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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lol! I forgot about those ones. Especially the sleepwalker one. Tommy's dumb moments were some of the best quotes.

"Lord of the Rings?"
"Of course! The guy with the hoops? He does the little dance?"
"No, Tommy, the guy with the hoops? That's the Lord of the Dance. The Lord of the Rings is a famous fantasy book."

"Okay, she came from a tree, so she must like wood..."

"Maybe I could do a 'free the homeless' thing."
"Free them from what, Tommy?"

"I'll take him back to Hades."
"I don't think so! You're not taking my dog to some voodoo island!"

"I'll be back!"
"Why?"
"...Good point."
    5-29-2007  3:22 PM  
 snookie
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 Mar. 28, 2007
 
- "Look yonder, the Henderson family is having a picnic. "Son, eat your sandwich and we'll play wiffle ball." "But father, I don't fancy egg salad. I'd much prefer tea and crumpets! I'd also like me porridge! Porridge tastes good in me tummy! I like porridge..."

- "R-O-W-D-I-E! That is the way we spell rowdy! Funny, that's not how the dictionary spells it."

- "My autographed John Elway rookie card. It meant more to me than anything...except Merton." <3

- "See, nerds have labs, I have a lair. Ergo, I am not a nerd... Please disregard my use of 'ergo'"

- "Okay, let's play... truth or dare."
"Two. One above my ankle, and one on my back."
"I'm not trying to brag, but uh, 37."
"I don't think that's in keeping with the spirit of the game, but... Vanilla Ice."
"Well I'd show it to you but they cut it off and put it in Planet Hollywood."
"I'm actually doing it right now."
"And I was like, wait a second Miss Johnson, this is a bad idea!"
"Bob Barker. And to a lesser extent, Ben Affleck."
    5-30-2007  12:50 PM  
 MaidM
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 Mar. 7, 2007
 
Hee, that last one was one of my favourites.

"So, you're telling me this contains not one ounce of face?"
"Yes, just like the label says. 'I Can't Believe It's Not Face!'"
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How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
    6-08-2007  1:27 PM  
 TheTilly
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 May 23, 2007
 
Merton - "Why is it so hard to believe that my imaginary friend was trying to bludgeon you with a weapon from a board game? .... You can get back to me on that."

^ My favorite quote.
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    6-08-2007  3:40 PM  
 Spooka Lupa
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That was a good one.
    6-09-2007  3:41 PM  
 Cici
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 Jun. 9, 2007
 
Mr. Geiger: [holding up ink blots] Just tell me what you see.
Merton: It looks like a bat.
Mr. Geiger: Very good. And now?
Merton: Bat.
Mr. Geiger: And?
Merton: Bat... bat... A lonely boy, failing to please his demanding father at every turn.
Mr. Geiger: Wait, that one's upside-down.
[flips picture]
Merton: Bat.

Merton: Come on You don't understand.You don't know how bad I want it.
Becky: I though Mom and Dad blocked those sites
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"The angels have the phone box"
    6-10-2007  1:51 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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 Jun. 13, 2002
 
lol I loved the bat bit. Also, Merton's shadow puppet theater.
    6-14-2007  4:02 AM  
 Cici
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 Jun. 9, 2007
 
Me too ^__^

I don't remember the whole thing, but the entire song "fight" towards the end of There's Something About Lori is another one of my favorites.

And in Stone Free the random moments on Merton's tape on how to bring him back are priceless.

And, of course..

Merton: Hey Vlud..! It's me Merton. 'Just calling to see what you're up to. I thought maybe we could go rollerblading or something...It's me Merton, I wasn't sure if I left you my number last time so just to make sure it's 555...Vlud, I'm not doing very well. I've been drinking a lot o Yoo-hoo and I think maybe you should come over...Hey, it's me. Forget that last message, I'm all better now. Well, call me if you want, but this will be the last time I call you...Vlud!! Why are you doing this?! I love you!

Yeah, lol, I just copied that whole thing down..'cause I have nothing better to do at 4 in the morning
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"The angels have the phone box"
 [edited by Cici on 06-14-2007 04:18 AM]
    6-18-2007  11:38 PM  
 MaidM
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First, Cici. Doctor Who forever! And I do want that on a t-shirt. :-P

Secondly,

"Area equals pi r squared, do da, do, da. Area equals pi r squared, oh the do da day..."
"That, Tommy, is an innocent. If he were any more innocent he'd be a kitten!"
~The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth

I've taught that song to all of my friends, and now none of us will ever forget how to find the are of a circle.

"What's gotten into you lately, Tommy?"
"Five foot seven inches of goth stud!"
~Being Tommy Dawkins

"I've hated that guy since the fifth grade, when he threw my football in the lake."
"Hey, I've hated that guy since fifth grade when he threw ME in the lake!"
~The Wolf is Out There
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How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
    6-19-2007  1:47 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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"An Eagle Scout, oh great. He'll be the only werewolf in North America who can identify edible berries on a nature walk!"
    6-25-2007  11:50 PM  
 TheTilly
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 May 23, 2007
 
"The bunny hops along the medow in search of carrots." -Merton <3 HIS VOICE.

Merton - "Lori, this is Death. Death, this is Lori. Death is here for Tommy."
Lori - "Oh... he is, is he?" *tries to attack Death*

"Awww look at the puppy!" - Tommy
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    6-26-2007  12:26 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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I like Tommy's reaction in the Death quote.

"Lori! ...It's Death."
    6-26-2007  12:44 AM  
 TheTilly
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I love Lori's little attack mode. lol. It makes me giggle every time.
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    6-26-2007  1:01 AM  
 Spooka Lupa
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Yeah, she was cool in the second season. She became boring in the third season.
    6-26-2007  2:29 AM  
 TheTilly
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 May 23, 2007
 
Oh, the season where they dawned make-up on her and tried to make her more 'girly'. lol. She used to annoy me when she first came on, but after watching it alot, I've warmed up a lot.

That and I used to be jealous she was near Merton when I wasn't back then...

Anyways... QUOTE!

"'What about the girl'?!" - Lori
"Oh... you heard that?" - Merton *hides behind Tommy*
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    7-04-2007  3:33 AM  
 LCad
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 Jun. 7, 2007
 
"Saget, Stamos and the Olsen twins. That is a Full House!"

"Well... a... cat... hangin' from a branch. There's a... sign there that says 'hangin' in there'."

"Just beat it."
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 [edited by LCad on 07-04-2007 03:13 PM]
    7-04-2007  6:51 PM  
 Spooka Lupa
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lol! I love the "hang in there" quote. Tommy was not good at detective work.
    7-04-2007  7:23 PM  
 Cici
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 Jun. 9, 2007
 
Me too MaidM..! It's always nice to see another Doctor Who fan btw

Quotes~

Merton: "Death? You mean Tommy's gonna die?"
Professor Fugelhoff: "Do you know of another outcome for death?"

Merton: "Oh, I hope that's my pizza."
Tommy: "What?!"
Merton: "D-I mean...I hope that's not Death.."

Death: "Checkmate!"
Tommy: "Oh! Please gimme one more chance. Please!!"
Death: "Yahtzee..!"
Death: "Connect four."
Tommy: "Where? Where? I don't see it. Where..?!"
Death: "Colonel Mustard in the lounge with the lead pipe."
Merton: "Wow, you're good! How about Stratego?"
Death: "No..!"
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"The angels have the phone box"
    7-07-2007  3:22 AM  
 LCad
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 Jun. 7, 2007
 
"Remember when I was addicted to TV?"
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I had no idea what would make a defining avatar so I picked an anteater, lol
    7-20-2007  2:49 PM  
 Jay098
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 May 19, 2007
 
Merton: "The important thing is she now knows I've got a big wad and I'm willing to blow it all on her."

Heh.
    7-20-2007  3:19 PM  
 Spooka Lupa
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 Jun. 13, 2002
 
lol Delightfully inappropriate ones were my favorite.


"I've got a virus!"

"At least make him wear protection."

"Merton, bone me!"

"More importantly, who is Hugh G. Balzac?"

"Ewan McGregor?"
"What? I like his accent."
"So I like Pamela Anderson's accent...s"

And the oh yes's coming from The Factory when Merton was seeing that fortune teller in Invisible Merton, heh.
    7-21-2007  1:49 AM  
 ranranami
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 Aug. 13, 2006
 
Tommy: That's wierd, your hair looks different. Did you do something to it?

Lori: No, yours looks different too...
~ Stone Free

Not really funny taken out of context, but I certainly found it hilarious when I first saw the episode...


Tommy: Are you sure you're qualified to do this, Hugo?

Hugo: Relax Dawkins, I've got all the necessary medical field training. I did three tours of Nam...

Tommy: You fought in Vietnam?

Hugo: Actually, they were bus tours of Nam, disqualified for flat feet...now, less talking and more bleeding.
~ Fangs for the Memories
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I am Lobo. I hunt alone. I need no one.
    7-21-2007  2:29 PM  
 Spooka Lupa
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Heh heh, Hugo ones were pretty good too.

"You played for the Greenbay Packers?"
"Meat Packers...softball team."
    7-25-2007  2:59 PM  
 Sepek
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 Jul. 25, 2007
 
"Nerds have labs, I have a lair. Ergo I am not a nerd. Please disregard my use of ergo"

I love this quote because it's what started my over use of the word ergo. At least I think it did... I'd completely forgotten it until I saw the episode and shouted at Merton "that's my word!"
Meh I probably stole it subconciously... or a telepath implanted it my mind to conufse me. Either works for me
    7-25-2007  11:01 PM  
 Spooka Lupa
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Merton is responsible for most of us using the words "ergo" and "quibble."
    7-27-2007  1:31 AM  
 LCad
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 Jun. 7, 2007
 
"Less hubris, more punching."
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I had no idea what would make a defining avatar so I picked an anteater, lol
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